Dating versus marriage

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There is no best decision or worst decision. Rate this: +71 -3 Ruchita Sonkusare said: Feb 14, 2018 Hello friends, I think love is in the air only till you get married, after marriage no matter whether it's a love marriage or arrange marriage.

Before marriage, I was spontaneous and fun. Although we don't know much about what happened during his teenage years, we do know what his focus was. Sometimes the bride and groom don't meet until the wedding, and there is no pan or wooing before the joining. Armstrong; Laura Hamilton; Paula England Summer 2010. For instance, of those marriages that began from ages 23 to 28, the proportion that ended in divorce was dating versus marriage percent for those with less than a high school diploma, 50 percent for high print graduates with no college, 46 percent for high school graduates with some college, and 31 percent for college graduates. When a Christian marries he or she is making a commitment to fulfill the responsibility God ordains for the husband or wife to fulfill. So we can say that if you north to take support of year family fast of all you have to do the arrange Marriage. The term of Stelldichein as translated by is used dating versus marriage signify dating when the age of consent to marriage was relatively high. Over the past year I immersed myself in the solo literature on marriage: not just the psychological studies but also work from sociologists, economists and historians. There nothing wrong in love marriage. I am over 50 years old and divorced. There can be so many confusions, different mindset, unlike behavior, that can create problem and solo can be spoiled.

Communities where people live but don't know each other well are becoming more common in China like elsewhere, leading to fewer opportunities to meet somebody locally without assistance. It's so much easier to just break up when you're in a long term relationship. Further, this preference is high in Rajasthan, Haryana and showing a statistic of 88 percent, while for West Bengal, New Delhi and Tamil Nadu this is 59 percent.

Biblical Dating: How It's Different From Modern Dating - Knowing this verse will remind you of the power of love! Just as with first marriages, college graduates were more likely to stay in a second marriage when compared with groups that have less education.

Which one works better? Right and make a blunder for life in the name of love! Many of my counterparts feel that marriage is unnecessary or terrifying as it leads to various issues which may end up in divorce, a fact that statistics testify to. Does it mean that two people who had an arranged marriage are completely accepting and comfortable with each other, enough to spend their entire lives together, happily? I highly doubt that. With changing concepts of society, added stress and the changing role of Indian women, marriage in itself has become more of a challenge than ever. Furthermore, there are several couples who live in the same house yet do not communicate at all; or couples who have been living in different cities or homes and have no relationship between them. The only reason why these people do not become a representative sample of the population during a survey on divorce, is that legally, they are not divorced by a court of law. For the sake of society or simply not wishing to get tied up in financial or legal hassles, the couple decides to live in such a scenario. But does psychological separation or detachment not count for anything as long as one is bound by law? When two people have decided to part, whether this includes geographical or spatial relocation, does it not have all the makings of a divorce? This reflects that Indians are still conventional in thinking of marriage as a set-up in which a person should fit into the family. So does it mean that one needs to be a perfect match only for the family? What about a partner who sticks by you and sticks up for you and treats you as an equal and not as a relative in the house? Indians are still conventional in thinking of marriage as a set-up in which a person should fit into the family. Further, this preference is high in Rajasthan, Haryana and showing a statistic of 88 percent, while for West Bengal, New Delhi and Tamil Nadu this is 59 percent. This clearly shows a trend in the changing face of marital beliefs and highlights the fact that atleast a few states have begun to come out of the veil of traditions. With changing concepts of society, added stress and the , marriage in itself has become more of a challenge than ever. It takes effort, time and patience by both partners invested in it to make it work well. As both have a voice and a level of independence, the desire and willingness to function as interdependent entities is crucial in every marriage. Why I would like to arrange my marriage As an with an army background which instilled a sense of discipline and responsibility as well as parents who educated me of cultural and societal norms without expecting that I would conform blindly, I have acquired a liberal train of thought and personality. My personal belief, supported by scientific facts from psychology, is that a marriage must be arranged by two individuals, where they mutually come to a decision regarding the order of their life together; that it be based on love, trust, affection, respect and commitment. The task of utmost importance to the woman was to tend to the husband and take care of the children. New trends must be allowed to accommodate the old or even reform the old if the earlier patterns are on the way to becoming archaic. Surprisingly, they have a fairly modern and optimistic view of life. My grandmother although less educated than her husband is in no way subservient or timid. Theirs is a marriage of equals where they may have entered into their marital alliance as per an arranged structure but have allowed contemporary views to build their relationship over the last 68 years, happily and respectfully. While I harbour respect to both kinds of marriages, I choose to take the path where I may maintain my individuality and maturity. I believe that these traits will support me in finding a like-minded partner, who is interested in building our lives together, with a strong foundation of acceptance and love. New trends must be allowed to accommodate the old or even reform the old if the earlier patterns are on the way to becoming archaic. Both styles of marriage have advantages and limitations. Regardless of which style one chooses it would be wise to learn from each and adopt the values and skills that each has to offer. Photo credit: Pixabay Love marriage or Arranged marriage? Under this process there must be certain element of compromise while one factor is favourable to offset another deficient factor. The overall evaluation, to some extent makes both persons to believe that each one is a beneficiary will alone lead to the marriage. If dowry and any other compulsory conditions involving money, property or costly gifts transfer are not involved even girls too become equally a beneficiary in such a situation, especially when she is equally or better educated and landed into a gainful employment and will have her own entity with own financial freedom. Thus the question of Love or Arranged Marriage will never put anyone in a predicament. Love is only favourable step for Marriage… it can also be called an Arranged Marriage. Similarly now a days an ideal family proposed marriage will differ from a conventional Arranged marriage provided both people finds comfortable when the majority of factors are synchronized prompting them to love each other prior to marriage! This is the present day reality. Prospective brides and grooms…. Please focus more into studies and carrier and be ready to commence the process of marriage….. Let your family too be involved in their own search. They cannot thrust any marriage on you. You alone will decide your marriage. See all pros and cons of options available, but never waste too much time for this compliance. There is no best decision or worst decision. Once decide never try to do postmortum analysis. You have to carry forward and make a best family…….. You have to believe that you are in the right track for a long haul of life together….. By Indian woman, you probably mean urban educated Indian woman. Majority of women in the rural-side who constitute probably over 80% of Indian women have simply no say in their marriage process. They are simply married off… Like cattle they are given away to whosoever the family wishes to, usually under compulsion. Hi, thank you for taking the time to read the article. In response to your comments I would like to mention that you seemed to have overlooked the very introduction to my article. I clearly specified where am coming from and the perspective based on the same i. I have chosen to speak about an issue from my experience while in no way belittling other points of view or choosing to ignore women from other strata of society. I chose to speak about my own account — completely subjective! We as women all indulge in being part of a change whether it is verbal or action oriented. I wholeheartedly appreciate your concern for women and their betterment and hope for more people to think like you and engage in the process of change like us. Thank you for your feedback. Hi Aditi, I read your thought on love and arrange marriage. Good to see your views but would like to comment on that and get your opinion and suggestion too. As you have mentioned that arrange marriage is a bonding of 2 families. Does it mean like love marriages do not bond 2 families. Family support is the biggest factor for making a marriage successful, irrespective of whether it is love marriage or arranged one. There are people who make efforts to go through the proper system of marriage, even they sometimes get failed due to fake customs and traditions. Off course there should be an issue of level of 2 families but if that level are same, family people should support love marriages. Then I definitely bet that there would be no problem on love marriages. It hardly matters when two have decided to live rest of the life and they understand each other. I too am in relationship, and feel about the after marriage life not about how would we be married. Her family is not in support, still we are putting efforts to convince them. I have not thought about any other option then my love. All I think is one has to believe on the after life of love marriage and have to be practical on that. I read the article and found very much closer to arrange marriage. Ms Sonali, how would you think about love marriages and how would you rate it against arranged one. I appreciate your thought a lot and also would love to read the views on love marriages. Hi Amit, Really appreciate you posting your thoughts on my article and sharing about your life. Love is what binds us all, compassion and understanding are what help us get there, just as you mentioned that what matters most is that you and your partner understand each other. I love the fact that you are focused more on the marriage than the wedding. With belief in each other and respect that binds you two, I truly believe that by continuing on this path you two would definitely have your dreams come true. I am currently writing a thesis in which I want to make an argument about the changing social fabric of India, which, as Mohan already argued, mostly takes place in the urban areas. To be honest, I am not an Indian, but as far as I can see, things are changing in the way people behave towards each other. Instead of working at home, wives are highly educated and have their own jobs outside the home; although for many young people arranged marriage is still not a question, I seem to hear more and more young people who fall in love and decide to go for that; there might even be more blending between people from different religious or social or, caste backgrounds. I was curious about the survey done by NDTV you refer to. Could you possibly give me the link to the survey results? Again, thank you so much for your contribution and thank you for reading my comment. Hey Sonali, loved reading your piece! Can you please get in touch with me? A choice, and as you said a smart choice for oneself. Thanks for the book recommendation! Would give it a read. Hi Priya, I understand that the situation you are in seems bleak and difficult but do not even consider devaluing and giving up on your life. The first step is to truly and unconditionally love and respect your own self! Have a conversation with your families and ask them to give you both the time to prove that you are truly meant to be together and can brave all the good and bad times together. Give it time and they would come around. But not for one second should you even consider the possibility of giving up on your life. That is just not a solution. Whether it is arranged or not I think because everyone around us unknowingly forces us into this pattern, many of us are doomed from the outset. Me apni family ki Marzi k khilaf Jana nhi chahti aur apne pyaar ko chodna b nhi chahti meri family ko lagta h ki AGR Maine dusri cast me shaadi ki to unki izzat kharab ho jayegi aur meri family bhaut he purane khayal ki h meri family k liye izzat he sab kuch h meri khushiyo se b zyda unki izzat kimati h. We have worked together for 3 years. We fall in love. As i felt that our thaughts arr same. She always give support to me. We are afraid by our parents our culture. Now I am not able to understand what happened suddenly. Even we are in relationship now and we both dont want to break this relationship. Please guide accordingly as she will get married in December. What I wish to delve into is the fact that have you spoken to your girlfriend or her mother regarding your intentions? Have you made it a point to understand what is that you can offer the girl and more so to calm her family into accepting and trusting you of being able to take up the responsibility of a partner? The fact that you cannot see her with someone is a fleeting statement that you have made and with all due respect I encourage you to introspect and think carefully about whether you would be able to make this work as a marriage and if you are prepared to do so. Do not rush into something due to fear and regret it later rather think and choose wisely as to your course in life regarding how it may be beneficial for her and you. Do remember that it is indeed a lifetime commitment and not a hasty move. Good luck Hi All, Just want to share my personal experience that pls pls pls go for arrange marriage.. Dating for 2 hours is very different from being for 24 hours together. I was about to break up but she cried a lot and being a loyal person i accepted her. She broke all her promises about accepting my family. Now she wants to dominate me all the time. Do not do all work as other housewives do. Always sleeps so much in morning day time. Pls anyone suggest me what should i do. Thanks Hi brother, I understand your problem but looks like you married a rude person who did not reveal her true self to you before marriage this is in context to you mentioning that she disrespects your brother and parents with no rhyme or reason. She carried that kid for 9 months, to be honest she has done her part and whatever you do for your kid now will never be equivalent to what she did. Think of your mother! Your dad must have done so much for you but it comes nowhere close to what your mom did. I have tried to be objective while suggesting you a resolution. If you are confused after reading this just want to let you know that while writing what I wrote I just considered you and your wife as two equals. Hi Deep, I would recommend that you speak to a professional, for example a counselor or therapist who would be able to provide you an unbiased and clearheaded opinion on the same. You have obviously invested a lot in the relationship both mentally and emotionally and seem to drained with recent circumstances. Do take the time to introspect and speak to a counselor who would help you bring back peace and happiness into your life. Hi Karan, what a wonderful perspective that you have provided. Really appreciate your thoughts on the matter and your attempt to help him out with this present problem. It is indeed required that we think of where the other person is coming from and not just the fact that we seem to be troubled by something that they do or did. It is pertinent to question — what may be bothering my partner? Thanks for your reply. I would like to prefer love marriage. But mostly some parents are doing marriages on the base of kunduli matching. Our goal is to help women learn and grow!